killerfang | embarrassing

embarrassing

[ despite various trials and tribulations - almost all of them caused entirely by himself, the poor bastard - Jaffar succeeded in what he set out to do today, aside from the usual chores and survivalism. Or, at least, he's succeeded at doing half of it. If he thought the first part made him feel nervous, this part has him feeling even more nervous.

He has no idea why. He's already told her his feelings, and she reciprocated them; they sleep beside each other every night. But... in the end, it's because he's still learning to be human. He's afraid of making an error, or doing something embarrassing, or screwing things up, and he's even more afraid of those things where Nino is concerned.

Fortunately, fear has never been enough to stop Jaffar from doing anything. So he returns that night to the hut they're sharing with Jack with a single flower in his hands, being quiet in case Nino is still sleeping off her injury. ]

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[She's resting, but not sleeping; in truth, she's been tracing the odd texture of the eyepatch that Keith brought, single eye half-lidded as she does. Is she really supposed to wear this...?

But she doesn't notice Jaffar come in, quiet as he is--when Jaffar wants to be quiet, he's quiet--so here's your chance, Jaffar.

Surprise the girlfriend.]

[ you don't have to wear it, nino, don't let peer pressure make you do anything!!

Once he's ascertained that she's awake, he approaches a little bit closer, wondering if there's some special way to do this - if there is, it's a total mystery to him. He may as well just do it. Bellamy had said he should just be himself. That seemed to have worked so far. ]

Nino... Are you well?

[ and he won't surprise her because he's not MEAN!! except he might by accident. ]

[At least it's purple???

And...at least Nino's both a) too tired to really startle much and b) used to Jaffar being a silent sneaky assassin of doom. So he speaks up and she just blinks, slowly lifting her head to look at him.

Jaffar is a good boyfriend, it's fine.]

Oh... Jaffar. [It doesn't matter how much time they spend together--she still brightens every time she sees him again.]

I'm okay. I think... I'm feeling a little better.

[Less off-balance and also less like hell.]

Good.

[ it'll take time. That kind of injury isn't going to get better in a few days - to say nothing of getting used to seeing with one eye. But if she's not feeling worse, then she must be getting better. Jaffar nods, looking her over nonetheless to make sure she doesn't look too pale or too sweaty or anything else bad.

She doesn't. Which is good. But it also means he has to get straight to giving her this present. He's quiet for a second, shifting his weight to one foot as he gets some pluck; then, wordlessly, he reaches out to take one of her hands, pressing the flower into it softly. It is a single flower - a white hibiscus - but it is fairly large. Since he didn't know how to make a nice bouquet, he thought it might be better to just give her one. One that he thought was nice. It took him a while to decide, but he chose this one, and now, he's hesitantly watching her reaction. Nervously, even. ]

This is...

[...A flower?

It's pretty, but Nino admittedly has to stare blankly down at it for a long moment, holding it carefully in her hand. She loves Jaffar, with all of her heart and soul, but... this sort of thing from him is new.

But that doesn't make it any less heartwarming--if anything, this means even more to her, now that she's realizing... Jaffar's not good at this sort of thing, but he brought her back a flower to cheer her up anyway, and she has to bite her lip for a moment, because he throat feels tight--

But it's because she's happy.

She can't really fling her arms around him happily like she would have before; she's still unsteady on her feet sometimes, and that much movement doesn't pair well with the lack of painkillers. But she'll still shift carefully until she can wrap her arms around him, pillowing her cheek on his chest for a moment, and then, softly:]

Thank you... I'm really, really happy. [Sincerely, utterly so. Nothing could have ever meant more than a gesture like this from Jaffar.]

[ this time, at least, he's more prepared for her to hug him... or maybe it's that he's getting used to it, learning to have faith in the way Nino feels about him. Either way, when she embraces him, he leans into it, bracing his knee against the side of the bed so that he can bend down and return the hug properly. His touch is much lighter than usual; he knows she's injured, and doesn't want to accidentally brush against her injury. She's even softer and more delicate than usual now.

More importantly... She accepted it. So he can't have done anything wrong - or done anything too strange, for him. There's a little thrill of joy in his chest when he realizes it. That he could do something for her that a normal man might be able to do. That he could make her happy, even though he's Jaffar and he's never loved anyone before in his life. ]

... Your suffering is my suffering... I cannot bear it. [ he speaks frankly, resting his cheek against her hair. ] If it will make you smile... I'll do anything.

Edited 2017-08-18 05:05 (UTC)

[Her breath hitches a little--but he's so gentle, so cautious, it's all too easy for her to lean into his hold. She feels terrible to think that she's made him suffer too, as his words would let her believe--but of course it's true. She would suffer too if he was injured.

Because they love each other.

That's just a fact of life, right...?

So, holding the flower carefully in one hand even as she keeps her arms wrapped around him, she buries her face against him a little more.]

I'm sorry... I'm sorry for making you suffer. I'm sorry for hurting you.

[For everything she did, and for the pain she caused--]

But I... I'm really happy right now... because of you.

[It's always, always because of Jaffar. It's because of Jaffar that she was able to pick herself back up, and it's because of Jaffar that here and now, she doesn't feel despair--she feels hope, and happiness.]

... Don't apologize...

[ he can't exactly say "it's all right" when it clearly isn't. He still thinks Nino made a foolish decision, even if she was following her heart. But he doesn't want her to apologize for it. He's already forgiven her - she survived. Now the only ones to hold responsible are the two men and that woman that egged her on to do it.

But he lets that thought slip away for now; he doesn't want to miss this moment of happiness. Jaffar makes a small, noncommittal noise of acknowledgement. ]

... Do you... [ he hesitates. he feels embarrassed asking this, for some reason. at least, he thinks that's probably what he's feeling. His voice is kind of subdued, even for him. ] The flower... Do you like it? I... don't know what I should do... I do not know how to make you happy... But...

[ she'd said she was happy because of him, but he's not sure what he's even doing that's causing it?! ]

[She's willing to let it go for now if he is--because the happiness is much more important to hold onto. They have to hold onto whatever happiness they can here together.

So she nods quietly against his chest, eye fluttering shut.]

I like it a lot. It's really beautiful, Jaffar!

[So lovely... in every possible way. And...]

Especially because it's from you. That's what makes me happiest.

[That makes it the most beautiful flower of all.]

... Really?

[ it's less of a question and more of a confirmation. Naturally, what she said is something that many, many people told him earlier today when he was agonizing over how to actually go about giving her a flower - but hearing it from her makes him actually take it to heart. Finally, he feels his nerves settle a little. He holds her for just another moment before releasing her, though his hand lingers on her cheek, near the edge of her bandages. ]

Then... that is enough.

Really.

[She confirms it anyway, tilting her head into his touch affectionately. When it's Jaffar, everything seems soothing, even if he's uncertain.

He's always gentle with her anyway.]

...Thank you. Thank you for bringing me this.

[And....for still loving her, even now.]

[ as if he would stop over something like this - it was a mistake, as far as he's concerned, but it was a noble one, born from her pure heart. Even if he's frustrated with her actions, he's touched by her continuing kindness, too; it's naievete, yes, but she believes in helping people and saving them so strongly that he almost wants to, too. It's that part of her that he fell in love with in the first place.

Jaffar's hand drops to his side, and he takes a seat beside her on the bed, nodding an acknowledgement to her thanks. He's glad she accepted them... Glad he could actually do something. ]

Are you in pain? Do you need food or water?

I'm okay!

[Pain is relative... or something like that. That said--]

But...maybe we should eat dinner together.

[You gotta eat too, Jaffar.]

[ oh... okay. Jaffar nods, acquiescing to the idea of food for once. Frankly, he's been so worried about her injury and her general state of mind that eating hasn't been a big concern. Probably not good. ]

... Okay. [ but eating together with Nino sounds nice. ] Is there something you want? Some fruit is left... and some fish.

[ a lot of people came and gave them food after she got hurt, so for once, they're pretty well-stocked. ]

Edited 2017-08-20 06:08 (UTC)

[Yeah they're rocking. Rolling in the island economy of fish and fruits and things.

But she just looks thoughtfully at Jaffar at that, and then nods a little.]

Um...fruit sounds good. I think you should have the fish.

[Both because Nino's not sure she can still stomach it, and because Jaffar has not been eating enough and she knows.]

[ all they need to do is start buying up beachfront property and reselling it and they'll be set for life!! ]

We can share it. You need energy to recover.

[ apparently, he has a doting side in him... or maybe it's just his protective nature coming out in all things. ]

... Okay.

[Sharing is acceptable. She nods quietly, expression a bit more content. Jaffar is eating too, and that's all that really matters to her.

They'll take on these difficult quiet moments together.]

That sounds good to me. I like sharing with you.

[ he nods, getting to his feet so that he can go arrange some dinner for the two of them - considering the small size of the hut, though, it's easy enough to continue speaking with her.

her comment gets her a glance over the shoulder, a bit of gentleness glinting in his eyes. ]

... We will share many more meals together.

[ he was serious about living with her after the war... ]

Mm... we will!

[That promise is still the most important promise of them all.

It's the one she holds onto with everything she has.]

It'll be nice to be able to share better meals together when we get home... that sounds really nice. Like making our own home!

[ making their own home... the idea makes him feel quite strange inside. Sort of warm. Like he might cry - not that he will. He doesn't even remember the last time that happened. Even so, he's sure that this feeling is some kind of happiness... ]

... I've never had one...

[ will he even know what to do?! ]

That's why we'll make one together! One that's just our own.

[Who cares if it's not a classic home or family? She sure doesn't.]

One that suits just us!

...

[ he's never had one, but... being in a family with Nino... That sounds nice. He wonders if he could actually live that life. It's something he'd never even imagined possible for himself, but with her, maybe... ]

... I think... I would like that. [ a place where he actually belongs. He pauses, hesitating for a few seconds, before adding: ] ... You would make me your husband?

[It does sound nice. His bluntness, admittedly, makes her blush, ducking her head--

But, well.

This place has put a lot of things into perspective. Life is short. She doesn't know what will happen from here--so even though her face is a little red...she nods.

There wasn't ever going to be any other option, was there?]

I want...to live together forever, Jaffar. With you! And...only with you.

[Unless they have kids, but you know, details.]

That's absolutely what I want!

[ he hadn't intended it to be a particularly serious question, at least not entirely; the energy of her response is a little unexpected, and it's forceful enough to make even him feel a little bit embarrassed. He thought he'd been following the line of the conversation, but maybe he'd said something outrageous instead -- he's made that mistake before around her.

Nonetheless, it's nothing they haven't discussed before. Maybe he hadn't put it so frankly, but still. ]

... I know. [ he's not facing her direction, but the tips of his ears might be a little red. ]

[... At least they're on the same page here. She's still a little embarrassed, but...she's happy too, and she wants to share that with Jaffar for certain.]

I'm really happy, Jaffar... it makes me really happy to think about living that way.

[Just them, living their lives the way they want to.]

[ he mostly wonders if she realizes what she's saying. He's certain there are a hundred other men that would make better husbands to her than him. Even so, he can't bring himself to say so to her face. Selfishly, he doesn't even want her to consider it if she hasn't already.

He rises again, coming back over and sitting beside her with a small collection of fruits and dried fish on a makeshift tray formed from a palm frond. ]

... Me too, [ he admits, and he offers her the tiniest smile. ] I... look forward to it... my future. It is the first time I've felt that way.

[All tiny smiles from Jaffar are to be treasured and held dear, and she certainly does treasure each and every one. She just smiles brightly in return, and leans against him as soon as he's back to sitting next to her.

She'll peer at the food idly--

But mostly she's focused on their conversation.]

That...makes me really happy to hear too. That you're looking forward to it, and... that we can look forward to it together like this. I think that's important.

[That Jaffar can feel that way at all is incredibly important.]

[ it is, even if he doesn't really realize it. It also makes their current reality that much more painful. They need to get past this. They need to be able to seize their chance at a normal life.

Her small frame is warm against him, and even in the island's morbid heat, he finds it soothing and pleasant. Jaffar nudges the food towards her. ]

Eat. I won't have you falling ill.

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